Finish Line

I ran my first marathon back in 2004. When you're at the starting line your adrenaline is pumping, there's thousands of people around you, and you're anxious as hell because you know you've worked your butt off for the past 4 months just for this very moment. It's pretty intense. When that gun goes off, all you want to do is jump out there and get in the race and get running! But you can't. Every smart runner knows you have to control your pace in the beginning so that you have enough gas to finish at the end.

I learned alot of things from my marathon experience. By the time I crossed the finish line my toes were bleeding, I had cramps everywhere and I felt like my lungs were going to collapse. But if it wasn't for the patience and discipline I had at the beginning, I would have never had the heart and fortitude I needed to finish at the end.

Lesson learned: Life is a marathon. Patience is your pace-setter. Use just enough in moderation to make sure you finish what you start.

A Not So Pleasant Surprise

I'm pretty hard to surprise I think its because I'm so nosey. Now that I think about it I don't think anyone has actually ever tried.

But I recently had a surprise that wasn't a good one. I found out last week that the husband of my friend is dying of terminal cancer. He's 37 years old. They are active, healthy, they run marathons, live on the beach. She's a vegetarian. All of the things they say you're supposed to do to live a long and healthy life. I know my friend never thought that she could be a widow at 36.

Lesson Learned: Sometimes doing the right thing just isn't enough. Tomorrow is not promised. Live each day like its your last because it actually might be.

Submitted by: Nicole

Integrity

Everday one's integrity is tested either in personal relationships, business dealings, school,finances, or in the games we play .I try not to ever compromise my integrity, even on the golf course where scoring is left up to each individual player to record his own score accurately. It would be easy to not count a 'whiff' at the ball as a stroke particularly if you're behind a tree and no one is looking to see if that was a practice swing I made, or an attempt at hitting the ball. Whiffs are counted as a stroke. Unlike other sports golf is a game of honesty and self-assessment. I love golf for the challenges it presents, but it is also a good test or measure of one's integrity.

Submitted by: CKC Sr.

School of Hard Knocks

I’ve had a lot of surprises throughout my life, but the biggest surprise came when I was a senior in high school many, many, many, did I say many, years ago.

I went to a predominantly white school in the rural South. There were six African American girls in my senior class including me, and three African American boys. My entire senior class consisted of 348 students. Be that as it may, we were friends with everybody. To be honest, during that time, for whatever reason we didn’t see color. We knew that after school and after school related activities, we didn’t venture into their neighborhoods and they didn’t venture into the “Color Section” of town.

One day I was talking to one of my dearest friends. (We’re still the best of friends today.) Her name was Debbie. I met Debbie when we were in the 1st grade. Debbie was this corky looking white girl with red hair and freckles that invited me to her Pizza party at Pasqual’s Pizza, when it was not heard of for a black child to be at a white child’s birthday party. Anyway, we were looking at our senior class schedule to see if we were in some of the same classes, and I notice that Debbie had Calculus and Economics, while I had Algebra 2 and Chemistry. I said, “Debbie, how did you get those classes?” She said, “They were on the curriculum.” I was like, “Well, we have the same curriculum, but I didn’t see those on mine.” I really did think too much about it until I was talking to two other African American Students. I asked if they had Calculus and Econ on their curriculum. They each say no. We discuss the classes that Debbie was taking and decided to bring it to Debbie’s attention. Once we compared “our” curriculum to a few of the other white student’s curriculum, we discovered that we had different curriculums. Talk about a wake up call.

Lesson learned: Integration was an illusion of inclusion.

Submitted by: Torria

Curve Ball

Last time I was surprised? When my girlfriend and I had a wonderful 2 hour talk in the morning and then at the end of our call she said, "baby let's take a break from each other".

Submitted by: Anonymous

Smooth Operator

Recently my fiance asked me to shave all my facial hair. At first I was adamatly opposed to it because I think my big nose looks even more ginormous in the absence of a mustache. But I figured what the heck, anything for the my future wife, right? So I went ahead and shaved it all off. And you know what.....it wasn't that bad. In fact, after a day or two I actually started to like it. Grooming is 10x easier and my fiance loves that my whiskers don't scratch her anymore. I feel like a new man.

Lesson learned: Unlearning old assumptions is very liberating.

Small Talk

I’m a mother of a fifteen year old boy. The first eleven years of his life, we adored each other. We spent Saturdays and Sundays doing fun things, movies, parks, swimming, etc. For the last four years of his life the extent of his conversation to me has been, “I hate you. You make me sick, I wish you were dead.” My words have been, “Because I said so. You don’t pay any bills around here. Because, I’m your mother and I HAD you. This is MY house and as long as you live under my roof you will do as I say.” He recently made a bad choice and the consequences were dire. I called him on his cell and started talking about random things not the “bad choice”. I told him about when he was younger and he would say, “Skrimp” instead of shrimp. We talked and laughed for the longest time. When I was about to hang up the phone he said, “Mama we haven’t talked like this in a long time.” I said, “I know.” Of course I cried when I hung up the phone.

Lesson learned: Relationship without fellowship is a sinking ship.

Submitted by: Torria

Don't Get It Twisted

I refuse to compromise my values. I'm old enough that I can't play naive - I'm old enough to take responsibility for my choices (good or bad).

Submitted by: Anonymous

Other Cheek

Besides my ethics? Not much. Why be a little b*tch about one issue when you can be cool about it instead?

Submitted by: Anonymous

Priceless

I refuse to compromise my celibacy. It's too precious. It's too expensive and not worth a thirty second thrill.

Submitted by: Torria

Just the facts

I refuse to compromise data. It is what it is.

Submitted by: You know who i am

Keep the faith

I refuse to compromise my faith in God.

Submitted by: YJH

Happyness

It has taken me a while to get to this point, but I refuse to compromise my happiness or my sense of adventure. It is pretty hard for me to make a decision but when I do it pisses me off when someone tries to talk me out of it. I don't want to leave this place with regrets about things that I never got a chance to do or places that I never got to see. There have been things that I've wanted to do that my boyfriend (of 9 years) could care less about. At first, I would just say "ok, never mind" and pout. Or I'd talk him into doing something and he would complain the whole time and ruin the whole experience. So now I know that its ok to do things by yourself. If no one wants to join you, so what!

Lesson Learned: When you're part of a couple its very easy to get caught up in "we". Live YOUR life. Fulfill YOUR dreams. And don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Submitted by: Nicole

I Am Woman

I feel I am a very proud person. I refuse to compromise my dignity.

Submitted by: Desiree

What's in a name?

I'm frugal. I'll admit it. Some might even say I'm "tight with a dollar". I like to think I'm just efficient with my money. Call it what you want. But thanks to my fiscal practices I have discovered the wonderful world of generic brand groceries. You get the same quality as name brand for a fraction of the price. It's gotten to the point where the Target brand is second-nature in my kitchen cabinets. But as great as the private labels have been to me, there is one ailse where I refuse to go generic-- cereal. Call me crazy but I'm just not buying that "Honey Oat Clusters" tastes the same as Honey Bunches of Oats.

Lesson learned: If breakfast is the most important meal of the day why take any chances.

Heaters and engines...

Why are men like heaters or an engine that's always on? I promise I have yet to hear any man tell me that he's cold!! That is truly baffling for me.

Lesson learned: Always bring a jacket because the windows may be opened or rolled down at any time of the day or night.

Submitted by: Rochelle

Dr. Jekyll

What confuses me is when they claim PMS is making them act up... but at work they are still 100% professional.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Androgyny

They confuse me when they take on more feminine qualities.. like being more clean than me.

Submitted by: Desiree

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

First of all, great work on the site! Keep up the good work!

Well, I just spent the last 5 days with my girlfriend who I'm in a long distance relationship with. We've been doing the distance thing for almost 2 years now. We're doing a bicaostal relationship: She from LA, me in Boston.

The past tiresome days have been extra-extraordinarily fun: BBQ on the fourth of July, Kittery ME on Thursday (well the speeding ticket sucked!), both of us winning $$$ at foxwoods at midnight on 7/7/07, birthday parties with our friends on Saturday night. And then comes the goodbye on Sunday.

I look back on our history, our adventures, our bond. And it is the time that she leaves and the time that we are apart that I truly treasure. The times of "the grind" of school, work, and routine. All throughout, she has given me the greatest gift: the gift of missing her and appreciating her.

Till the day that we are together, I will continue to strive to miss her.

Submitted by: You know who I am

Woman vs. Wild

Someone please explain to me why all women are afraid of bugs????? Was there an R-rated version of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" that I missed as a kid?

Lesson learned: RAID never has to worry about going out of business.